Explore

I have always had big dreams since I was a young person, but several years ago, I realized I had stopped dreaming. My life at the time felt like a string of Tuesdays, if you know what I mean. I felt pretty stuck and could not see any way forward or out. I always look forward to what’s coming next, but in that particular season I couldn’t see what was next.

I think for future-oriented people like myself, Covid had a particularly depressing vibe in that all of the future things were taken away. The simple yet regular joy of planning or filling up a calendar lost all of its meaning. So, I’ve had to figure out how to explore the present rather than the future. It is not easy for me, and I am not good at it yet, but I want to be. I am not somebody that regularly asks other people questions, but in my intention to explore the present, that involves exploring the people that are present with me. Again, I am not good at it yet, but I want to be.

Sometimes I have to take my cues from what is around me to know how to exist in the present. Right now, I am watching my dogs run like crazy around our yard exploring all the new smells since yesterday. They do not seem concerned about tomorrow or five minutes from now, but are delighting in exploring all that is around them at this moment.

What I have learned on my recent journey is that it is not so much what I do, but who I’m doing it for that matters. It is not so much the task at hand, but rather the hands I hold along the way that have lasting value. Exploring used to always mean adventure and excitement in my younger days, but exploring looks much more like observing, seeing, and knowing now. Being rather than doing is an exploration in itself. How do you explore this present moment? I still have a lot to learn.

“Trust in the Lord and do good; Live in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He will do it.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭37:3-5

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This post is part of a five-day writing challenge for Hope Writers.

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